Thursday, February 19, 2009

Is it really a jar of mayo?

There are so many urgent matters taking our time these days. A nasty recession (but not the worst since the Depression - but keep talking it down,) the rise of socialism, the man made global warming myth, I could go on.
However, today there are bigger fish to fry. And after frying, slathering them in tartar sauce. But tartar sauce made with mayonnaise or with a revolting substitute.
Like me, Christopher Taylor at Word Around the Net is a purist when it comes to condiments.
Miracle Whip is one of those nasty fifties products that was marketed with dozens of recipes that James Lileks loves to mock. It is the same sort of bastard demon child of real food as Sandwich Spread and Spam.

Some people, dump this industrial waste into recipes such as cole slaw to get that nasty sweet assault on your senses.
His full article may be enjoyed by clicking here. Come back when you're finished, if you don't mind.

I'll wait.

Oh, you're back. Thanks. Let me pick up where Mr. Taylor left off.
Miracle Whip is an abomination.
Because several misguided members of our extended family suffer from the delusion that this pitiful substitute condiment tastes good, my dear wife makes two types of potato salad for family gatherings. One version is made with pure, delicious mayonnaise (Hellmann's of course) - while the other is slathered in that toxic waste called Miracle Whip. Invariably, the bowl of good potato salad is emptied first.
Similar family feuds also erupt over butter and substitute spreads (yes, I'm looking at you, yellow container. And I can and do believe it's not butter!)
For so many things in our society, the pale imitation has been marketed so well, that it is often preferred over the real deal.
Come to think of it, that might explain why we have the president we do.